So here's the deal: if any readers out there just have too much money, send us to TC20. We'll ask real questions, hopefully in front of everybody, and videotape it. We'll put the hilarity on YouTube for all to see. Maybe we can even make people realize what a farce the whole thing is.

Yes, I will make fun of Jason Calacanis for being functionally useless. Yes, I will make fun of MC Hammer for having been around the world from London to the Bay and still not being qualified to judge tech companies. And yes, I will make fun of Michael Arrington for running this whole circus as a profit center and billing it as a charitable service to Web 2.0 companies.